Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
