Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
