dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
