what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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