the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
