Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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