I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
