he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
