Hey man sorry I got all grabby
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize