K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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