If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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