Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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