Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
