He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
