Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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