I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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