Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
did i just pee glitter
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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