I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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