Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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