I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
