This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
