I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
