Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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