bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
