i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
