It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
