Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize