the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
