I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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