Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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