One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
