a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
