It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
