I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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