In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize