Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
