No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you never un-have a 4some
I need to calm my uterus...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
