I bet he comes in French.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
