Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
