But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize