i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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