But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dick very happy bro
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
