I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
