At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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