Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
