I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
