we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
