when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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