Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
