please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
