i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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