Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
