please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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