this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
