You work out of a Hotel?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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