would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
