I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
