Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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