Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
