put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
