I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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