you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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