hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
