You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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