Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize