I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
