Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
