oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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