ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
