whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
