So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
