I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
