mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize