Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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